The following quote list comes via Laura Lanchester. It has been edited (no changes, just omissions), because, frankly, there are some parts so tasteless they could make grown men hurl. If you ask me, I'll e-mail the full, unexpurgated list to anyone who was actually at the DT that semester on the theory that a) you know the people involved already, and b) you heard it in the first place.

"Have you seen 'Seven'?" -- Laura Lanchester
"I got five..." -- Keith Caulfield

"My reason for living is the Genocide file." -- Laura Lanchester

"I'm just going to stop being the gimp right now." -- Matt "the gimp" Hutaff

"We all have our own areas of expertise..." -- Greg Keraghosian (implying that someone else's is masturbation)

"So everyone would make these comments about eating my fish..." -- April Haitsuka

"I'm such a masturbatory reporter."

"It's like Westwood, It's not really a city, but it's where all the Bruins live." -- Laura Lanchester (explaining Palestine to Vic)

"You've got to be shitting." -- Laura Lanchester
"I was, literally.
(later...)
"I'm not traumatized, I'm just pissed..." -- while telling his peeping-Tom-through-the-stall-crack-while-doing-what-one-does-in-the-bathroom story

"It's not a trip back to the DT unless someone touches your head." -- Laura Lanchester to CEwell

"(Dave) Crandall's pretty savvy to us as a media whore" -- Laura Lanchester
"We're media whores?" -- Matt Hutaff
"We are THE media whore of Southern California." -- Laura
"Melanie should change her title to 'Head Pimp'." -- Dan
"And I'll be 'Graphics Bitch'." -- Matt

"She has nice lips." -- Vic Manley
"She's a cat." -- Laura Lanchester
"But she has nice lips for a cat." -- Vic

"Q: How many Trojan Knights does it take to screw in a light bulb?" -- Laura Lanchester
"Four?" -- Matt Hutaff
"Eight. One to tell them to steal the light bulb and seven to get arrested for it." -- Laura

"It's not the same thing as making your fledgling reporters take a shot after every sentence they write." -- Melanie Asp

"Your story sucks... cue the naked women!" -- Vic Manley
-- (on the possibilities of DT hazing)

"It might have been one of those moments, you know?" -- Ron "the Prod God" (commenting on some chick who died falling off a balcony rail while having sex with her man, who promptly went back to bed)

"And he's built like a brick chimichanga." -- Keith Caulfield

"Did I look like Strawberry Shortcake's little brother or something?" -- Keith Caulfield

"I think they should all be shot and killed." -- Kelly Pullin (offering her solution to the 399 Union strikes)
"But who's going to clean up?" -- Kimo