| | | | æ | http://www.despair.com
----
Mark Osborne's brilliant "More" is one of the most critically-acclaimed short-films of all time. But how good is it REALLY? Consider the following:
A partial list of its awards and nominations:
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0188913/awards
A collection of user-submitted comments from viewers of the film:
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0188913/usercomments
Even more reviews from Amazon customers:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0970367708/qid%3D1109875219/sr%3D11-1/ref%3Dsr%5F11%5F1/002-0791469-3079209
And look, some bonehead is trying to sell a used VHS copy of it through Amazon for the "low price" of $192.99! (And he's had previous takers!)
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/offer-listing/0970367708/ref=dp_bb_a//002-0791469-3079209?condition=all
----
But why should you take everyone else's word for it? Watch the film for yourself, and see why it has so many people singing its praises (and/or blubbering like little babies).
http://www.despair.com/happyproduct.html
----
If you've just finished watching the film, even the most hard-hearted cynics among you are probably in an emotionally vulnerable state. Perhaps you're questioning whether you should've pursued that music career that you abandoned for a life in business so you could please your parents? Or maybe you're reflecting on the loss of your own sense of empathy for others as you ascended the corporate ranks and became what you despised? Possibly you're considering the lives of your own children, how to preserve their innocence and hope in such a dismal and cynical age as this one? Or perhaps you're wondering whether you are living a life of conspicuous consumption, trying to fill a hole deep within your soul with purchased things and the fleeting sensation of happiness they bring?
If, through our sharing of Mark Osborne's film with you, we might've helped prompt some profound reflection on so weighty a matter as the aforementioned ones, it will be reward enough for us.
But will it be enough for YOU? Knowing that this beautifully designed and critically celebrated cinematic masterpiece is in our possession and not yet in yours? Can you really afford to let another day pass without laying claim to this transcendent and life-changing piece of fine art, especially after learning that this two-disc DVD set is being heralded by critics as a "must-own" for film lovers?
http://www.dvdtown.com/review/morespecialedition/14776/2572/
----
Okay, if our clumsy attempts at emotional manipulation of your purchase impulse during a moment of vulnerability weren't successful, we're going to take it up a notch to some shame-based scolding.
It's a fact that the majority of you own DVD players. It's probable that the bulk of you are in some way fans of Despair. Yet most of you do not currently own one or more copies of this celebrated DVD. Incredibly, it's statistically more likely that you own a Steven Seagal DVD, or "Highlander II", or even a copy of "From Justin to Kelly"- which is to your great discredit and our profound embarrassment. (If you own all three, please follow the unsubscribe procedures at the bottom of this email.)
At this moment, some of you are crying out at your monitor: "But $24.95 is too much to spend on a six-minute short film, even with a ton of extras! I can get three crappy feature-length DVDs for that price!"
To which we say, "Silence!"
In consideration of those who can't spend more than $20 on a DVD, we're offering Wailing List subscribers a one-time chance to own this elegantly-packaged piece of essential cinema for 20% off its list price!
Simply use the coupon code "comeongethappy" when placing your order for a DVD from Despair.com and you'll automatically receive $4.99 off. (Want to see a glimpse of some of the special features that we've included on this DVD? Now you can- simply click on the link below to take a tour of just a sampling of content from the two-disc set.)
http://www.despair.com/happyproduct.html#specialeditionfeatures
Parents, this disc is the perfect gift for your disaffected college students! Disaffected college students, this is the perfect gift for your parents! Currently childless married couples, this DVD will make you fall in love with each other all over again. Children estranged - CRAP MY LAPTOP BATTERY IS DYING!
I HAD SO MANY MORE TARGET SEGMENTS I WANTED TO ENUMERATE, AND NOW I'VE GOT ABOUT FOUR MINUTES TO WRAP THIS THING UP... YOU MIGHT BE WONDERING WHY I CAN'T PLUG THIS THING INTO A SOCKET... USUALLY, I'D BE ABLE TO- BUT I'M A STARBUCKS IN DOWNTOWN AUSTIN AND A BUNCH OF DELL EMPLOYEES ARE HOGGING THE SURGE PROTECTOR.
WHY AM I WRITING THIS FROM A STARBUCKS? ACTUALLY, I WAS INFORMED THEY ARE SPONSORING THIS PARTICULAR WAILING LIST AND SO I'M SUPPOSED TO AUTHOR SOME SORT OF ELEGANT SEGUE IN CLOSING TO ENDORSE THEIR COFFEE AND WIRELESS SERVICES.
I ASKED THESE DELL REPLICANTS IF SOMEONE WOULD LET ME BRIEFLY PLUG IN TO FINISH THIS BUT, NOTING THE GLOWING APPLE ON MY LAPTOP, THEY ALL SCOFFED IN UNISON AND REFUSED TO OBLIGE MY REQUEST (IN UNISON, I'M NOT KIDDING. IT'S LIKE THEY REHEARSE IT.). WHEN I GET FINISHED TYPING THIS, I'M GOING TO THROW DOWN. THERE'S SIX OF THEM AND ONE OF ME, SO THE ODDS AREN'T LOOKING GOOD, BUT I DON'T GIVE A RATS ARSE... I'VE GOT A STEAMING HOT VENTI CUP OF ETHIOPIA YERGACHEFFE IN HAND (SO DELICIOUS!) AND IF I'M LUCKY I CAN TAKE THREE OF THEM OUT WITH IT... AFTER THAT I'M TURNING MY LAPTOP INTO A BLUNT WEAPON. IT'S 17", AND TITANIUM- AND WEIGHS ABOUT 7 LBS. THEY'VE ALL GOT 12.1 INCH
MAGNESIUM ALLOY UNITS RUNNING AN INFERIOR OPERATING SYSTEM. I FIGURE THAT'S EVEN ODDS- AND IF IT ISN'T, I THINK I KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT BRAWLING FROM MY MANY YEARS OF PLAYING "STREET FIGHTER II".)
2 MINUTES LEFT! UH, BUY THIS DVD- IT HAS THE POTENTIAL TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE AND THE LIVES OF THOSE YOU SHARE IT WITH! UMMMMM.... DR. KERSTEN'S BOOK IS COMING OUT NEXT MONTH... I CAN HARDLY PITCH IT IN SIXTY SECONDS TIME BUT I CAN AT LEAST STATE THAT IT'S GOING TO UPSET A LOT OF PEOPLE. BIG TIME... WE'LL DISCUSS THAT IN A WAILING LIST IN A FEW WEEKS, WHICH I HOPEFULLY WILL BE THE AUTHOR OF, IF I'M NOT IN TRACTION...)
OH, AND BUY STARBUCKS COFFEE! IT'S THE BEST! (AND IT MAKES A GREAT WEAPON WHEN YOU'RE BACK IS AGAINST THE WALL- I HOPE!)
OKAY.... OKAY... HERE WE GO...
(IN FIVE SECONDS I'M GOING TO SCREAM: "THE IPOD HAS 87% MARKETSHARE BABY!!!! THE DELL DIGITAL DJ CAN'T TOUCH IT! APPLE RULES! IT FINALLY RULES!!! SHURIKEN!!!"
(WISH ME LUCK....) | æ | | | æ | | | | æ |  | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | URL / Copyright Footer
| |
