Overheard

"Cheney Backs Gay Marriage / But only for those making over $200,000 a year."

"Military survey says soldiers suffer high rate of stress"

"Taco Bell is named after its founder, Glen Bell. The first Taco Bell opened in Downey, California (a suburb of Los Angeles) in 1962, but Glen Bell had been involved with fast food for many years previously."

"God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts"

"Talk Show Host Kicked in the Head"

"Grand Opening!"

"If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters."

"It would never come into [the broad masses'] heads to fabricate colossal untruths, and they would not believe that others could have the impudence to distort the truth so infamously. Even though the facts which prove this to be so may be brought clearly to their minds, they will still doubt and waver and will continue to think that there may be some other explanation."

"Well, why don't they say it's 17 dollars and 299 cents? That sounds even cheaper!"

"How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are."

"Bad week for airport security, as a Brussels Airlines flight to Vienna was aborted because a passengerâs cat got out of its traveling bag, ran into the cockpit, and attacked the co-pilot."

"You have terrible disease X because:
JUDAISM: God hates you.
CHRISTIANITY: God loves you.
ISLAM: Such is fate."

"Oh. It's you."

"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy."

"Obviate malfunction."

"British Columbians tune in to country music less than anyone else in Canada (except for Quebecers)."

"Monthly, health insurance for us combined will cost $73.47 in British Columbia."

"I used to work on a help desk for a major oil company. One day a drilling engineer called me up, incensed about a "bug" in Microsoft Word. Seems he had written up a long report about his last six months of work, which was inspecting the "boreholes" in northern Alberta. The last thing he did before sending it to his boss was fire up the spell-checker and press "Accept all". Naturally, the word "boreholes" was not in the Microsoft dictionary, so he sent his boss a huge report on how he'd spent the last six months inspecting the "brothels" of northern Alberta."

"I had looked for such objects [new moons around Saturn] for weeks while at my office in Paris, but it was only once on holiday, using my laptop, that my code eventually detected them. This tells me I should take more holidays."

"Vancouver's opening ceremonies are 2,010 days away."

"But then, I probably shouldn't have driven home for Thanksgiving while high on crack. Hindsight, as always, is 20/20."

"Why does sex sell?" "[Laughs] Because it's so very rarely free."

"Due to International Olympic Committee (IOC) restrictions regarding the online transmission of Olympic Games coverage, CBC.ca is prohibited from streaming any live or on-demand audio/video files that may include protected Olympic material. Between August 13 - 29, CBC.ca will not offer live radio streaming. All on-demand TV newscasts will be unavailable. Special editions of some CBC Radio newscasts will be available throughout this period. CBC.ca will resume full streaming services on August 30th. We apologize for any inconvenience and appreciate your patience while the Olympic Internet broadcast restriction is in progress."

"I am a musical robot."

"It's like stew in a pie crust, and I just can't do that."

"Yes, we're extremely pleased with our room in every way, except perhaps we were wondering if you could possibly send a housecleaner up to replace the sheets which look just a bit like they haven't been changed since someone slept in them last night. You could? Oh, that would be great."

"I grew up on the prairies of Saskatchewan. My Dad bought me a dog. I loved that dog. But it ran away. We watched it go for days."

"My separation was almost too equitable. She took half my Jenga blocks. I can now only play with three-year-olds."

"Lumberjacks."

"Theory: The reason that faded, worn-looking clothes are in right now is the same reason that palor was in in the 18th century -- clothing has become very cheap and of high quality, so if you can look like your clothes are 'worn,' you stand out."