OK, here’s how it works: Copy the list, delete the names of the authors you don’t have on your home library shelves and replace them with names of authors you do have. Bold the replacements.
In order to help you through the coming year with a minimum of social and familial discomfort, I’ve written this short guide to appropriate and inappropriate feelings for each of the holidays. I have determined these proper emotions through careful observation and scientific experimentation over the past 30 years.
“Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.”
You can scroll right easily by holding down the SHIFT key and using your scroll wheel. (Firefox users trying this will end up jumping to old Web pages until a) Firefox releases a fix, b) they change their settings like so.)