Last night I went to a going away party for Darren and Julie, the only Vancouverites moving to Malta this year.
It’s a strange thing to be celebrating, someone’s going away, like a wake with the departed still there. Even a vast array of shrimp, cold cuts and scotch can’t fully soften that blow.
Maybe if it was your going away party, it would make more sense to invite all your enemies and every jerk you dislike to your going away party. Then the crowd would be much happier, and you’d be happy to be leaving them all behind.
Of course, this going away party’s gloom was mitigated by the fact that they’re moving to Malta, not, like, Bakersfield or something. (Bakersfield is my default armpit nowhere destination, ever since my old editor Mike Carlson went there for an early journalism job.)
And Susie and I now have a good reason to go to Malta, and a nice place to stay while we’re there.
Of course, when we leave Malta, we’ll have to have a going away party.
“Do stuff. Be clenched, curious. Not waiting for inspiration’s shove or society’s kiss on your forehead. Pay attention. It’s all about paying attention. Attention is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. Stay eager.”
“When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we’re still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on—series polygamy—until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.”
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