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How to Spend Time with Friends

posted at 11:01 am
on Apr. 15, 2003

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OK, think of a fun time you had recently with friends.

And let me say just for a second here that you should REALLY do this, I don’t just write these journals for my health.  You gotta play the game.  Close your eyes (unless you’re driving, in which case, stop reading and pay attention for goodness’ sake) and think of a recent fun time you had with a friend.

Chances are, you didn’t just think of going for coffee, or dinner, or shopping.  You thought of doing something: shopping for a specific thing, going to an interesting restaurant for the first (or last!) time, meeting and going for a hike, to a party, to support them at an event.

My friend Mike came to town, and while he was here, he taught me two things.  He taught me how to put cork over a whole wall, making it into an enormous bulletin board covered in international maps and flag pins, so it looks like we’re playing “Where’s Osama?” And he also taught me that when you’re spending time with somebody, the way to make it memorable is to do something.

My sister, Virginia, re-enforced this by saying that she remembered me living at home from when she was young much better when it was about us actually doing something.  She didn’t remember breakfast at the table together, but she did remember making Rice Krispy treats one day, and the time a sheriff brought her home in the back of the car after she was arrested for smoking cigarettes.  Ah, the life of a law enforcement official in Swan Lake Montana....

Anyway, that’s my advice for the day: Do something when you spend time with someone, don’t just “catch up” and possibly have a meal. It seems like I’m guilty of that, and it’s a very L.A. thing to do.

Overheard

“BBFF (Best Bacon Friends Forever)”

...who said it?

“I find myself thinking of a checklist Wozniak wrote a few years ago describing how to become a genius. His advice was straightforward yet strangely terrible: You must clarify your goals, gain knowledge through spaced repetition, preserve health, work steadily, minimize stress, refuse interruption, and never resist sleep when tired. This should lead to radically improved intelligence and creativity. The only cost: turning your back on every convention of social life.”

...who said it?

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream.”

...who said it?

“Ever have something in your teeth that you cannot stop tonguing?”

...who said it?

“ . . . the war situation has developed not necessarily to Japan’s advantage.”

...who said it?

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