Overheard

“Oh boy! Another great opportunity for personal growth!”

“I’m not bitter about what happened to me as a child, and my mother was instrumental in keeping me from being so. ... She taught me to be grateful for my life regardless of what that entailed, and that’s directly related to the image of Christ on the cross and the example of sacrifice that he gave us. What she taught me is that the deliverance God offers you from pain is not no pain—it’s that the pain is actually a gift. What’s the option? God doesn’t really give you another choice.”

After over a decade of user testing, it is clear that the way we search the web is similar to the way we would search our home for valuables as it was burning to the ground. Frantically.

“We must shift the focus of companies back to the customer and away from shareholder value ... The shift necessitates a fundamental change in our prevailing theory of the firm… The current theory holds that the singular goal of the corporation should be shareholder value maximization. Instead, companies should place customers at the center of the firm and focus on delighting them, while earning an acceptable return for shareholders.”

“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.”

Comments

You used the tool exactly for what it was created for. Finding people with a common interest and contacting them. Don't think of it as creepy at all. If she blocked you, she is one of those few who actually NOTICE and USE the blocking ability and believe that now you are blocked she is hidden away from your view.

But, lady, sorry - we know your name. Where's that thing called the phone book with those things called addresses. Oh, wait, Canada411.ca? Yah, that system is down with your information too. Oh - and the library? Don't get me started on how much information we can pull about you out of there.

Where's my toga...

Posted by Shane
  at 10:07 am on Nov. 1, 2007

It's also important not to read too much into facebook blocks for a very simple reason: not all are intentional.

A few weeks ago, I noticed (in a similar second-hand way) that an old friend had blocked me.

Now, in this case I was pretty sure this was a mistake. For one thing, I've known her since she was born. For another thing, her sister hadn't blocked me .

It turned out the problem was that she had done it by accident. She didn't even know she had blocked me until I pointed it out (passively enough, by sending a note to her sister...).

That said, if you don't have an alternate method of contact, it's clear you should let sleeping dogs lie. It's only polite.

Some people are really picky about who they make contact with via Facebook, you know. Travis.

Posted by Ryan Cousineau
  at 6:30 pm on Nov. 1, 2007

are you sure you're blocked? i remember some people couldn't find me by searching via my name and it was because i had set my privacy levels really high.

Posted by col
  at 8:08 am on Nov. 2, 2007

No, my privacy levels are quite low.

Posted by Ryan Cousineau
  at 10:25 am on Nov. 2, 2007

actually i meant hers, not yours.

as far as i know, there is no way to block someone on facebook. you can only remove them as a friend, or restrict who can find you via searching.

if there IS a way to block someone, i'd be sure interested in knowing how

Posted by col
  at 2:06 pm on Nov. 2, 2007

Hmm...not impossible, but I think the trick was that she had previously been marked as a friend.

The punchline, of course, is that she was still marked as a friend of my wife throughout this all.

Adding someone to your Block list is an available "Privacy" setting.

"If you block someone, they will not be able to search for you, see your profile, or contact you on Facebook. Any ties you currently have with a person you block will be broken (friendship connections, relationships, etc)."

Posted by Ryan Cousineau
  at 3:46 pm on Nov. 2, 2007

You are a benign individual. Others are not. So, why did she put herself out there? Who knows, but she has just realized that she no longer possesses anonymity and it has her unsettled. If a person desires that anonymity then it behooves her to stay out of public posting areas. You just can't have it both ways!

Posted by Janet Gardner
  at 7:14 am on Nov. 3, 2007

I wouldn't worry about it; it probably has more to do with her realizing that there are privacy settings in FB, rather than actually not wanting to associate with you. You're not a stalker... though checking domain registration listings to find addresses is edging that way. ;p

Posted by sio
  at 9:50 am on Nov. 5, 2007

I just recently got a message from someone I've never met. I recognized the surname from an ex-boyfriend. As it turns out, it's the ex's new gf.

I have no idea why she would be interested in talking to me, or even if it was really him. Don't care - couldn't be bothered to block either.

Posted by Kathryn
  at 9:02 pm on Nov. 10, 2007

Congrats on having this published in the LA times.

Posted by Rachael
  at 9:32 am on Nov. 11, 2007

Just wondering if you know of a way to check who has blocked you on facebook? Email me back and let me know kk? I'm really curious!

Posted by kris
  at 12:03 pm on Mar. 12, 2008

There's no way to see all of the people who have blocked you on FB (that's a feature, not a bug), but you can make an educated guess about whether an individual has blocked you, especially if you previously knew they were on FB.

Basically, if you search for someone by name in Facebook's search and they don't show up, they're either no longer on the service or they're blocking you. You can sometimes find conclusive evidence that they're still on Facebook through a few other methods.

Posted by Ryan Cousineau
  at 12:25 pm on Mar. 12, 2008

You can register a fake name on facebook and then look up the person you think blocked you. You can also google that persons name along with the word facebook and see if it shows up.

Posted by Mark Horton
  at 7:09 am on Sep. 8, 2008

I noticed over the summer that several (about 8) people that I knew for years and were close to have "deleted" me from the friends list. It happens I guess, especially if your drunk and facebooking!

Anyways, as an experiment I found pictures from some far off blog of some guy, pasted 3 pics, created a fake profile in a fake name and used his pictures as the profile.

I immediately searched for the long lost friends who deleted or blocked me and added them, and immediately they added me to their friends list. And for 6 months they have had this fictional character on their friends list and wont accept when I try to re-add them.

I am guessing that they don't like me anymore or something (some of you might think what kind of guy does this ....I would delete him too!)...hoevery this was experimental, try it sometime.

I mentioned this to a friend recently and she tried it recently....same results for her...is it something about human nature?

Posted by Kevin James
  at 6:47 pm on Sep. 9, 2008

I found an ex gf facebook, i wanted to see her profile, but I wad denied. I tried to see her profile by using another facebook ID, and i could seeher profile.
I think she blocked me even befor being able to ask her. I think that in your facebook options you can set names of people who can't see your profile.

Posted by guess
  at 11:48 am on Sep. 13, 2008

i feel your pain, buddy. this has happened to me, but for some reason, i think this one feels ill of me. all i was was a little persistent (not really) with my communication and i got the 'talk to the hand'. this is really frustrating to me, because i would think someone has some sense of human compassion and friendliness in their character not to resort to being so flat-out cold. and maybe communicate? that's not to much to ask, especially for an acquaintance. oh well, i give up.

Posted by LJR
  at 7:55 pm on Dec. 21, 2008

Mr. Smith, reading your article made me almost feel like looking at myself in a mirror!!

Anyway, recently I had a similar experience. Since we parted under a friendly circumstance, I was startled when this person suddenly 'vanished' from FB after my friend request. (this is before I became aware of FB's 'Block' function)

It really made me second-guess myself - 'what did I do/say wrong?' 'is the problem with me or this person?' these kind of questions.

I still haven't figured it out, and it feels weird, if not 'guilty for no reason.' But I can't initiate an off-line contact either, since that'll probably make me look like a real stalker which I'm definitely not.

If this person doesn't want to communicate with me, that's fine. But I just need to know why.

Funny, huh?

Posted by JK
  at 8:17 pm on Jan. 22, 2009

I got blocked by someone when I accidently sent an invitation to them to join facebook. Embarrassing mistake, but I sent an email apologizing.

He was my friend's family doctor and we were just goofing around.

I guess one might consider it stalking ~ but hey if you're on facebook ~ you're in the public eye ~ at least for people to see your name and profile picture.

Kind of a blow to the ego to get blocked ~ even if it's someone you really don't care about one way or the other.

Posted by Edie
  at 10:24 pm on Jan. 25, 2009

I guess this really does kinda tie in with decisions you have to make in your life about the people you associate with and who you really want in your life. I blocked somebody I'd known for years, who was gradually becoming more and more inappropriate in her behaviour. I concluded that she'd reached a point where she was simply too mad to discuss it with. I didn't want her in my life anymore as a result of a gradually increasing number of small but increasingly invasive incidents. Sometimes there is no point in talking to people and you have to make a clean break. Painful as it might be, all you can do is accept it as generally continually responding or sending messages probably will only confirm the reasons for blocking you in the first place.

Posted by Laura
  at 8:34 am on Jan. 30, 2009

This is a very impressive thread. I have recently been blocked my self. i know that because i set up a phony account and was able to search this person. Also knowing her name and doing a simple google search. She was a buisness partners g-f. oddly enough my partner hasn't blocked me (we had a pretty bad fight) her and i are talking about a solution. but her girlfriend seamed to take it apon herself to remove me from her list. the reason i added her was just in good mannors. now that is just dumb. funny too how this one chick that i took to the hospital because of a borken leg blocked me too.

I think that block button gives power hungry insecure people an opertunity to have some control in what may seam to be a somewhat messed up life.

Posted by tom
  at 6:38 pm on Mar. 9, 2009

I'm glad this blog exists. I feel so frustrated I went with someone I considered a pretty good guy friend to a dance (he needed a date, the girl he liked dumped him i figured why not). And the day after the dance he blocks me on facebook. Blocks me; doesn't that seem a bit extreme.

Posted by mya
  at 7:01 pm on Mar. 29, 2009

Well, I blocked my ex husbands wife because I didn't want her to see my photo's and also as she was making horrible comments to mutual family members. I then noticed she made a fake facebook page as she was once again making comments designed to hurt me so I thought if I am that interesting - knock yourself out! Look at all my photos! I use my FB for happy events and happy photos and stories, not to try and be hurtful to people.
ps. she has since deleted it and along with it her comments as I think she realised we all knew what she had done and she felt stupid - as she should.

Posted by Jemma
  at 10:19 pm on May. 20, 2009

I noticed a 'friend' missing from my list, asked myself the same questions. a few months later a pick by a mutual friend caught my eye, it was the previously mentioned 'de-friender' in the pic. they were tagged and I could see their name and box as I rolledover, I then searched her name and nothing came up. apparently she de-friended and blocked me (for what I dont know), but this is one way around total blocks.

*great site, I think horizontal scrolls will catch fire soon

Posted by Dana
  at 7:46 am on May. 22, 2009

just want to know is there any possibility that i can blocked back 2-faced cow that blocked me in her facebook..
HELPSssss
i'm kinda pissed of that bitch..

Posted by karen
  at 5:23 am on May. 24, 2009

Fairly new to FB and have a question about blocking. A person friended me and sent me a message. I accepted their friending and replied to the message. Checked out there site and photos. I received status updates. A day later I attempted to return to their wall to leave a comment and the profile comes up repeatedly as unavailable at this time. I can still search them on FB, they are still in my friends. Did I get blocked but still remain a friend? Thanks.

Posted by Brian
  at 11:12 pm on Aug. 18, 2009

was i blocked , deleted or was friends account deactivated, his profile is gone, not in friend finder, so I went on our mutual friends walls and opened their friends list i looked to c if he was still on their added friends n he was gone from there page also, but I was using my computer?

Posted by lacey
  at 2:32 pm on Sep. 6, 2009

"when you are blocked by a friend can i go to a known mutual friends page on my computer and when I click on her name to go to her wall, open her friends list and still see their picture on our mutual friends page but from my computer", not?

Posted by lacey
  at 2:35 pm on Sep. 6, 2009

First time I ever see such a web page that scrolls horizontally. It is hard but a different look % feel. I support new concepts

Neo
http://www.expertcore.org

Posted by Neo Cambell
  at 6:42 am on Nov. 10, 2009

When someone does block you on FB, I have found out you cannot block them back. Which is fine, but I was only trying to block them back being concerned about them still looking at my stuff. Can they block me, but still see all of my FB and even search for me? What can they still see about me? I haven't been able to find the answer to this yet. Do you know anything about this? Great article, by the way. Thanks!

Posted by neojill
  at 11:20 am on Sep. 29, 2010

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