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Help, I’m an Impostor

posted at 11:01 am
on Sep. 15, 2003

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Help, I’m an impostor!

Or at least that what I’ve been accused of.  I got an email on Thursday from a fellow who wrote me twice. The first one, written in response to one of my emailed journal entries, said this:
“F**k you son of a botch I’m Travis Smith”

And the second one said this:
“I’m going to alert aol if you don’t stop using my name my real name”

Now, I don’t know what AOL would do to me exactly—perhaps they have some Division of Unique Name Enforcement that I’m not aware of, who would come with thick leather gloves and encourage me to find a new name.

The fellow (I assume fellow, though I could be impersonating some oddly named teenage girl, I suppose) wrote me from an AOL address.  He subscribed to my column about a month ago.  And that’s all I know, except that he doesn’t like to curse in email, and he possibly doesn’t know how to spell bitch.

I wrote him back, but he hasn’t replied.  I figure it arrived in his mail box; after all, people rarely block email sent by themselves.

Anyway, if you suddenly notice that your good friend Travis Smith is acting a little odd, you’ve probably got me confused with someone else, or someone else confused with me.  Please contact the appropriate Division immediately for further instructions.

Overheard

“I swore with my hand on the Bible to uphold the Constitution. I didn’t swear with my hand on the Constitution to uphold the Bible.”

...who said it?

“Buy anything you want at the grocery store; cooking is always cheaper than eating out.”

...who said it?

“There are two things in this world that take no skill: 1. Spending other people’s money and 2. Dismissing an idea.”

...who said it?

“Violence is a choice a man makes and he alone is responsible for it.”

...who said it?

“Oh boy! Another great opportunity for personal growth!”

...who said it?

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