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My Right Ear

posted at 3:06 am
on Jul. 18, 2004

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Welcome Home, Airport Express

My right ear is filled with water.  Not a lot of water.  But tenacious water.  It’s deep in there.  It was driven in by a new game that Amy invented that we ended up calling Semi-Inflated Mattress Diving.  It’s soon to be an Olympic demonstration sport.  Perhaps “soon” is an overstatement—perhaps “never, those fools” would be a little more realistic.

The sport involves leaping from the pool steps on to, as the name

implies

says, a semi-inflated pool mattress.  And then not falling off.  It combines the taut grace of synchronized swimming with the explosive desperation of bull-riding, without any of the poop. At least, that is my sincere hope.

While I did not do so well in the trials—something in my leaping tended to cause the mattress to squirt out from beneath me like a half-peeled grape when stepped on—I did pretty much stomp the competition in the finals, when I executed a nearly perfect L-drop move to land and stick in the middle of the pool on a double tall mattress pile.  What a proud moment for Canadian pool party athletes everywhere.

Robin, Amy, Jae, Karin, Debbie, Tracy and Mike all came over for the last-minute party.  It was much fun.  Some grilling, some drinking, some music via my new Airport Express (lovely little device that is—more later).

I’m really going to miss this place.

Overheard

“I swore with my hand on the Bible to uphold the Constitution. I didn’t swear with my hand on the Constitution to uphold the Bible.”

...who said it?

“Buy anything you want at the grocery store; cooking is always cheaper than eating out.”

...who said it?

“There are two things in this world that take no skill: 1. Spending other people’s money and 2. Dismissing an idea.”

...who said it?

“Violence is a choice a man makes and he alone is responsible for it.”

...who said it?

“Oh boy! Another great opportunity for personal growth!”

...who said it?

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