My Right Ear
posted at 3:06 am
on Jul. 18, 2004
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My right ear is filled with water. Not a lot of water. But tenacious water. It’s deep in there. It was driven in by a new game that Amy invented that we ended up calling Semi-Inflated Mattress Diving. It’s soon to be an Olympic demonstration sport. Perhaps “soon” is an overstatement—perhaps “never, those fools” would be a little more realistic.
The sport involves leaping from the pool steps on to, as the name implies says, a semi-inflated pool mattress. And then not falling off. It combines the taut grace of synchronized swimming with the explosive desperation of bull-riding, without any of the poop. At least, that is my sincere hope.
While I did not do so well in the trials—something in my leaping tended to cause the mattress to squirt out from beneath me like a half-peeled grape when stepped on—I did pretty much stomp the competition in the finals, when I executed a nearly perfect L-drop move to land and stick in the middle of the pool on a double tall mattress pile. What a proud moment for Canadian pool party athletes everywhere.
Robin, Amy, Jae, Karin, Debbie, Tracy and Mike all came over for the last-minute party. It was much fun. Some grilling, some drinking, some music via my new Airport Express (lovely little device that is—more later).
I’m really going to miss this place.
Five Live Links
- Fake coffee - product placement appears on Fox news shows #
- Quick graph: Southern California foreclosures, 2000-2008 #
- U.S. Census Bureau will not recognize same-sex marriages in 2010 #
- Canada’s middle class getting into cannabis crops #
- Most pancakes made in one hour: Bob Blumer sets world record #