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Too much chewing

posted at 11:01 am
on Oct. 12, 2002

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Lately, I’ve been chewing a lot more.

I’ve been under a lot of stress, and I figured I needed to give my guts a rest, because they didn’t need to be all filled with bile and such, and with the way I’ve been wolfing down lunch it’s a wonder I don’t have teeth marks still visible in, well, you get the picture.

So I’ve been really concentrating on chewing.

I think it’s made a difference, my digestion seems much more calm now.

But on the down side, my face has been hurting.

I knew I was out of shape, but I never figured that would include my jaw muscles as well.  It turns out, though, that chewing is a lot of work, and it’s no laughing matter, literally, because laughing makes it hurt worse.

It reminds me of when I had to give up chewing Beeman’s bubble gum because I was getting problems with the joint in my jaw.

So I’m sorry, stomach, but you’re the toughest link in the chain, so I’m going to rely solely on you when I swallow Gummi bears whole to spare my jaw muscles. (In my head, I’m pretending the bears are responsible for all the incompatibilities in various Web browsers and I’m torturing them for it.  Is that weird?)

Overheard

“An unexamined life is not worth living.”

...who said it?

“BBFF (Best Bacon Friends Forever)”

...who said it?

“I find myself thinking of a checklist Wozniak wrote a few years ago describing how to become a genius. His advice was straightforward yet strangely terrible: You must clarify your goals, gain knowledge through spaced repetition, preserve health, work steadily, minimize stress, refuse interruption, and never resist sleep when tired. This should lead to radically improved intelligence and creativity. The only cost: turning your back on every convention of social life.”

...who said it?

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream.”

...who said it?

“Ever have something in your teeth that you cannot stop tonguing?”

...who said it?

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