The Color of Ugly Money

posted at 11:13 pm
on Nov. 4, 2003

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I think it’s time I spoke truth to power on a topic that’s received far too little attention lately: America’s new ugly twenty dollar bill.

The media covered the heck out of the previous new twenty’s unveiling in 1998, but there’s been much less coverage of this bill’s bow, to the point where the government has decided to spend $32 million marketing the new peach Jackson. The theory being, what, people will rebel the way they did when Canada introduced the dollar coin they derisively called Mulrooney’s looney? I hardly think the U.S. is in a rebelling mood these days.

Well, I can only hope protests do flare up, because no matter what new security features they have, the new bills are nasty, and if nothing else can bring Democrats and Republicans together, then maybe money can.

First of all, multicolored money is cool, but peach and green melange is atrocious.  I learned in art class that you want to choose colors that complement each other, and Orange and Green ain’t them.

Second, what’s with these clip art “Symbols of Freedom”? The mint’s site says ”the large blue eagle [Oh, that’s what it is?] in the background to the left of President Andrew Jackson’s portrait is representative of those drawn and sculpted during his time period.” But damn, it’s ugly, and it’s trying to stuff that olive branch in Andy’s ear like a big ol’ Q-tip.  And the smaller green metallic eagle to the lower right looks like graffiti drawn on with glitter puff paint.  It’s like they said, hey, one eagle was good, so three eagles is “doubleplusgood”.

Then there’s that rainbow wavy “TWENTY USA / USA TWENTY” to the right of Jackson. It just screams “NEW AND IMPROVED / NOW WITH 7% LESS INFLATION”. 

On the back, the design was left mostly alone, except it’s covered up with raining little 20s. You know, there’s a reason they lined up all those stars on the flag—it looks better. Now the bill looks like someone in the Office of Affixing Twenties went postal with a gold stamp.

Actually, the whole thing looks like what a class of elementary school kids might have come up.  Or maybe our president. And I’m not the only one who thinks the twenty is awful. At least we only have to wait another 7 years until the next design.

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