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OK, so that last post was a lie.

It’s not Twitter’s fault I don’t blog as much these days.  That’s like blaming cable TV for the fact that I don’t write Christmas cards to as many people, or like blaming 3D movies for my current weight.  Correlation, causation, and easy scape goat(e)s, etc. etc.

No, the truth is more dire.  It’s because I’ve changed a lot since 1999, and life has changed around me, and I feel like lately I can’t be true to the title of this blog: Unvarnished. There just seems to me to be this shrinking pile of things I can blog honestly about, and a growing pile (bucket?) of things I can’t blog about.

For years, I somehow avoided having the thing that made other people not share their whole lives on their blog (shame? common sense? or perhaps I just wasn’t in enough interesting situations… though that seems unlikely)

Nowadays, I feel like most everything in my life that’s interesting is under some non-negotiated NDA—that writing about things will hurt folks feelings or worse, expose secrets, or even just tell stories I don’t have the right to tell.  And each part of each story touches each other part of my life, and each person who is connected adds another layer of opacity, like watercolors mixed with a trowel—or these days, a blender.

I’d love to be able to blog about my problems with the Canada Revenue Agency. But I can’t, because who knows what they might read and try to use against me.

I’d love to be able to blog about Hop Studios.  But I can’t, because I have employees and clients who read my blog, and i ought to spare them exposure to my half-baked ponderings.

I’d love to be able to blog about my family, but I still have family members who are offended by being mentioned in this blog.

I want to be able to talk about my friends and friendships, and what’s happening to them.  But they’re in various states of confusion and decay.

I want to be able to talk about Susie, but I can’t. She has stories that are hers these days, not mine to give away.

And I have some interesting friends with interesting secrets who have confided in me for who knows what crazy reason, and next time I should probably advise them upfront that I have a blog that’s sorely in need of fodder. wink

-/-/-

Or maybe I can talk about these things. One thing I realized while writing this, is that I’m basing some of this self-censorship on many assumptions, and those “assumpteens” are just that—umpteen things that are making an ass out of me.

And the other thing I realize, is that I’m just not trying hard enough.  I can find things, real things, personal things and interesting things, to write about here, even if a few of the most salient topics to me right now are off limits or more difficult to express.  But I’m not a bad writer and I’m a reasonably savvy guy, and I’ll figure out a way to do this.

So maybe, just maybe, you might see a new post or two here.

Stay tuned.



 
 

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There's always LJ. wink

 

Posted by arianek
  at 2:10 pm on Jan. 22, 2012

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