}IsIޙY w T$ 6tfDxT,H[6&騻N2ɤnA:0c:_/O{D`UsZ57Go~8}&fEwE?{8}yvJl 6ŨtP ^DoVpX w&? "=F>Q^`ѣGU2 ]Dj,:bbS&xib%NT=gFP)WK . bq6C.ԷOXR7}c/v{&)TRϪTD`v{X ѻ'",WnYL{bHP",S0Q0сAD^^TgJ=Qp Fd:-D$iI}'//U@ɹKγJӡ-t,s% M˽¤.sdT,i@$,Ͽ5,\pC,0Zhoә) {F~fr^ߗP4V;M&$q%*&5%<4QBM6~׿+B3%%2K4-H(Ƒ ex3i\}~,\Nžs}^ɗcBvP\6lr~& 'MZez:+Ce$T}ẐR 2-JMIh uAkk0+BI ^P9 SiY Pd_TCQr#]Tb\ EfYhj8C$TNi*dPܵN5P$Ӷɽs'ͧ0~hbIV[&mj'I.d ֚hR"u;TT5艰&synomntw4UDK )R+[O&Cyrg96+6\olYq3vnw%Y rUNpGSV[]-;nu յgRɫS ?gdH,MGkvpCpI3HMhW\W6Ae32EAFN$K%TdqhJ^(%}čl3C:S\sKOn!>wn! vwEu˭m砺Abl@.a P ֭ "Jݹ Z7PR]hRWzO|#߽7Qo\rܔrGxD]hOKHH t2 a5_(-3n9aBg;awj&ɒ:pC1f%}֖Z8 f}M2IR"tGf{Ղ4.qY[r5H ǻ g*ԛںqPzT,=!NޔI,ԸX)DDfjbaA~1<lx,Ý^-@'2>yKHxK*;wzbVNOʭ/u;S.bjNuc/'X.=Xġ;l9R ?kyyH[*-xFH-wi>`>͈4S|Hi\ɋIBmeOV-!J^Sͪy4cf@\[Ωuvv6{V 1X4'Ҏd(e69'[2%E>@j}jھac[JQE\^ʉMl62wvfb'k=鿲 iNhvK_L8FBBVtk /:! ܧhm6yȞm`G.A .;^f;tƙI y.ffAX P< ^Tl m)ޫ1)Z9MHJMdҘv2~iX.\O'ΈERH>CPL?PE2dF԰^m-$=;/~,!0]!45GTݍ_%{|ۡ@/Hoe!X-tDk+ UժŒO`SF( 㟑r#P92"VۦiE: -9~&{<W ӇKtk?{wdv8 * 'y ==[C*DܖsOu3 4$N7Q *>`+*7ZWP;Z ԹIH"ITnbu$^8.1sbj)Ҧ'bѢ6Qt=h~V@\^VpAl^͈'OGjap?_'<}alono-BКy^νL ™#`uC`0`|LHY‘ B]+ ń:$ Tb=ǺbLҗ u.`Ft6J;ʍ0VR PԸ\4$R%y(-Rʲlމ*2S4%Pʦi&Y峱/Y8[ȹrlͬbT4"dcR`u]@eeaX`ФᨥBLp@'`:RHPf?i9/'PDlolmnҢk6sT_ӡލI`XD*I/NAH@"k*ðopCoP@-b3ɜ+ff=ɤDɤ{΀p8pgItJG|cY=\5᥼'|NteO#c{Vn\ޒײwiUESRo`BpۅXijYAŽ; V32yX(>X2%H@₵ԉY ֣G}iqQјrYZ 6Tjoz,Zos`aȨ-P& }QZ8<h)hCm0o1,-Ӯq2P # ,*{/e4∤بmYBg9`9 ,CG2>v!maqJIHC%h,C n,mn/L "HZ-O1`ذr aZU]@ט) `juAA&z6M\IُIYal<' RL gjs,BOA헂%՜+3a5쮚׻Dܘ]=Լlvrq{mhtwgc.,uB1 7`g׸\[ ^#_=|r:/ vkɑ!@[#͹#gt+pK[Ol?i>>ؼM~pЎ .fUot+[ 6;#|Gn` !aH3M1FMI6XXlhB F$kC3izIIc)9 4N*q9?hbJ6,o";H]RP^; 8zN^XAtv lH2I g#q^dhE& Z$I29_B"dYMUXuw#M6Hz]R F1[5~:* [-8Uqʇ2 54CPxI$E@glJ%eIp `@~I\( WauM,2iНHtZ#qPb>w)LZ]nFR-ދL͸2YzCᱶx MD8zCwb5%+5䅄%Gs挎 uF9ۓi}x+cUilv֌%=q^dI-q5Yv9`!E¬Y=hpr PV.[d2,3˨"bj"-Q9 mi"4Pܱtsд@ϭ>N|ʇLTO.N;OIHn_ ޵'#Q Z=\kUwz(m@Yc9U^  XugHugد*؈kU-!L !Y 5 T>俭.F?S?ө;Ϯlױ ʈwW.SR8#3) fL>ٙ<8w]UI&S8p8q>-QpT.sNN"!|گk*Zg;>-ZuI#mҧC`m>|pg}`ƺK \_p=qJ0%!c3e܎/*{2ƆD7pSx00-DGA#J.9]p?tپX,[?şq \~b7v;M83F ĉQz>L9}Ԥ{wC B~ׯ'@Lujixߋ>2 uT&_J~#K_Y>=s^8(XI\hz <NI4Ѳ'1ϔbAr;z|ᨵxNԽhH;F@3kߣ1 VαvƷ'^ *X^K"AZWm#/sĊ`8OMa9ℳiF.̈79t~D<4 {\ʏI!$   i]}.#((i5Xe](jY_:K2el2?Vkוz֝#g\Ł4RC~Iz?>0 đA+"38n~{u>\իO_{YS}'O3>H0t$Z*I.?>=q>l}vUrRǺ*>tuB*⬵NH;E68#*w4ıLPHxR8v;pAT0FדL~ I[+Zc_qYߕuTI`AJJ8Fx cSb1 I$89h"A~ƊUc;+ȼL]TZSIjA›@]|ùM 0vv Iih[J3 _ ]A_\! >|Wi{{ƁZ?/F* q%VW R=HK ;`,qC!Lg$Iq~bHY?dYvM։8VLpz0b(?%!j" $>`!gD{ h\#zN^deGK"% 6D"go \Wn^V?CY}p<.H/:A`Q 9^gyAH>)Xd/g:\Q׀74hoFAHΥey=$iRgTc/uZ%;[Hw6 5ٕUNLzQB̑"SLOxVu Rx!п$P$PZS%a\uMARô">"`}`J+(!yS,U=!\b1`aTta1 K_n4v3jA4$LA . s\W^6B\l L|.g`Λ$Q<]4ޫ@qi~HnYy7LJo޾Rٸ(n8kfy;Ra`2<S^dhJ^d$U-Kt|݅K1.sAa˵NB~w?8Twz-ݻKRYz׌U4@`3I2N"hrK'7 /Jİ՘Hû#N$i̦zL$תpDu; VSa2TF ĥ{؀t J< #:CvceP6UR\Qt5H|'\񼰑+4xgeTfV8a^⻄ D} + 6Btxp|6؞t 9brwRlR`½ڎEI;<{};K8&kW*n;yl8D'Z_Is#[ݠ3:UL^^͸Q\%rr9[`BW};L28Fm诀5'.XO'4~\!N~T2TS!n"oudS}hmC6ԗޚaA(z`j Pm8y8sٞ4pldQOeKEF.*X9fI}1hn]yk=V-l+n\dfvE|3M0,Lۙcud*6b4l-IE6#aiQ{tNyEP-rnv $);/+ 7ydbSGqowdAzfb۝oog?h&hߙKyc9[}.`6Ǫy7(yI)<H'lnwbitR>(X&yAG*)ۻe80v0m0CBy61NW2R$jNh"ˆye>$Cbp\)Q|.e)=[{ksċw?Ku?ZS I"'P8+k<a8.Lq?퓄<44Jؚ:ϸNZL q.Bn/ >yL3pG:ښj {@2O} n L+^ .vĹIv.݊wHTKxHX-ci]?5 끧 LxB+k^!3m/+N7\s3:+Y{'`أpWb80.~X%Cw=L A`s^}/X6|~j%!NUGҸxgy@ޟ$ӹz'`f4?t~=˸: &œ5ޙ2~OsY̙(C*9sMhr LeTh< Wܩpcz<|_BQ]82*.'N%n~tRv ,HB#|CnhWgzXiG%Y;:Q=*7+)BнgT{%a4uOiQJKv.:h:!&,UMuʩ#",E,< ~m5H"tS"^s[5.S{YH"Uq\nERCH3Ԯ5P֪96DKH_Z>{AV}^ g@E%„%+w#ܫm_%N> NK8C|VdN,d˹vEYWBr)h5Ys~ն }{HQX@b*WehA5n~_p?T*|LdR D濪7}F^!$gGxE9Khr"L[_/퟽y-BSϺ}pJo;\z;\l=;>p.:/3( KrՓ`D` sDU?7݃%nոRK:铋U}QwH;x6+%gKT2CA'垎U3#so}T|rҰowޅɼi ꖭ-qx:`q=O t21KK J|"w'X+7X=WD:l'8W߫ ~Dܜ"$ξeEE>ZFH/q 7\Iazld} = |]22%x CR?7+Kzlһ 4ѫ2l ~ xjot1swa6@^bM>vd#3gWGv5#JNRy.0[[pWCJ~>_7:jK2 $&hgpkI`(O#>%V/]3ARcG.3Shby!Ek;zί_Hw8}sde&!dwMo`A0k/Hh:dx_g.C7|.T&u~?ș1iof5h#NR_#Dz -˿v_K>tfH/@Yqx}ِ橙_gDM3 Ҍx3_,:ܖ)5͝U^~DG Aaޖ@ O:'=t29{>.9kQ&w7id 3mpKϢRٓ>t V)‘)ϊKq )7]&h 5Dڀ?NȠ2ıBcmHG\FK+ Il/4V/}wזe> _©Gij9a.iue\ >8ԛ, qrxR@p}sŁ"xR:ׁJȦy QՇ=oV *_`ffrAYqf2|5a2/opby\W [8rHw qv6+gdU$hyuLBU;26pg2|S%<15a8ⴃVZqR {Xa9r 3XTB!Dx3\^ =iZqY{;}:!E?Į8Ɛ#NrW6Nʼn 9i RR%B-䇒1K2Olo hZ&Leݵ ͒8cx60A wϭ+'ln4˼bi%o|KM^{6oPzK2yv( ВdLd=G~<[[S8|k7-=lnn&m ,j'dR+{O{e/=cr:2/(NK5b*1*gpOyw.}} BbbJ7].Ǝ{9ļU.]9E+09s%] ?3tb}ϛn$2~٫K"p.ǒѣ實v>Q^u~^f'/S7QҔD+8&YP\&|eevBIbߥyah+^D֨,T]`+y@r%-fLQ+H Zہu3Vc~ K8Rh`E$\V=5$Jqx>=)[&5JK{N:PɥSKߝzNAj t{@{)'(Qu%fiIj"^z`f0@ԴUV:ymI8鏖)2F񹷜$lں{63R8:AʩK9 sRyTi?8INCYDmElY/hK)sI>"B$5,H |)V!{PǑ -3W {iƉG~֎_eAD7#$z힖:t'u_ J?imE5ZYdrs:O\_L܉?P G8ПOiݼcF`yawY>% &GO3 ?aF9甅 MBbi:AMM~8R}AުVeWg΢/p^4*t*txB z @,?}X}L$%C][&r'5widO>{;ďL ĕBByqu.tqTgrZƊ'r |6`ʧO |&AƘ_^8d5o; Xw'Z<~q"XuBE7m7΃{m  -$D*0aK| Ӹ|dmDOJ.H2I¤=xnH*fzWy 1ֆJ2]vz]n9q,t4[֑i,HS&Hm6uaÕdFm,e [ Ӟ`2ޫw]wm6Mh0`h0gv4vx !)pƊWgG BDp0xS1ғݞNy>rsȤ)POB_ƶsBQ_Z7p blі&@z{(\?wgzGN&(oLG۽=4KpӍZ3aBh,b{0MԷ,8|tjz}OjRw?~fU;[nm=כ[Nk埖$q,"^k.4 \I4m>"$/ Fb#u\PcJU8B1O xy 2L?ĕ _M$IYS0]__yg3G@eL<*A-` PX)po,@RIcV_}mGXétjV?3ylmkrsHsfSu;)oL vX\'O6 Y[CU##TGFo8=^3+j9-h4DfggNֽ_mNtBh:8+DE чu#,&6YfWN\oeN9hJsønM/l[}G[}~r[µue*[n.8BII+@[D2n'r*?$uRC[T>ܹ]㯿zI0b"!I DpvB|gɏde$O_2<ɴCg苍Ŭ$`J:Am͔xrIqF/o&c mC#
HOME PAGE <> WRITINGS <> I HAVE A FRIEND WHO ...



I Have A Friend Who ...

We've all got 'em. Friends that we made in high school, in boring jobs, on a long bus trip -- people who are for goodness knows what reason inextricably tied to. In some cases, we even really _like_ these people, despite their ... quirks, shall we say.

If these examples remind you of anyone you know, please add your own anecdotes to the list using the form below and let me know, "I have a friend who ..."

  • ... brushes his teeth while he drives around in his car.

  • ... took a 7 week intensive course and built a complete, perfect mandolin, but has no idea how to play that instrument.

  • ... honestly thinks Josh Hartnett is the next Lawrence Olivier.

  • ... applied and was accepted to Clown College, but then decided to join the U.S. Reserves instead.

  • ... WILL NOT walk on cracks... Any cracks! ("I played basketball and I hated running on the painted lines...to the point where I clearly remember one b-ball game in high school where the coach asked me about a particular hop-step I had executed while dribbling the ball across half-court. This is particularly difficult while engaged in conversation ...especially with a senior surgeon who happens to notice that your cadence changes every three or four steps. i hope this stuff isn't hereditary. I'd hate to pass on these sick, twisted habits to my kids one day....")

  • ... has an older SUV and he drives around during the day with the headlights on so people will think he has the newer model that has daytime running headlights.

  • ... leaves his car running when he gets to work for 15-30 minutes while he goes inside because it's a Turbo and needs to cool down.

  • ... once reported to the police his car has been stolen, but he'd really just forgotten where he'd parked it.

  • ... left the dishes so long without washing them that his roommate found maggots living in the bacon grease of the frying pan.

  • ... wanted to be a mountaineer when he grew up, but ended up as a puppeteer.

  • ... pronounces "concierge" as "kwon-seerge," every time, despite repeated correction.

  • ... collected the spit of major league baseball players, and went on Jay Leno to show off his collection.

  • ... is so into Sony's Aibo that the license plate on his car reads "AIBO." Which can also be read: Ai! B.O.!

  • ... broke up with a man because he told her Lever 2000 was his favorite soap. She simply can't date a man who HAS a favorite soap.
    Your name (optional):

    If you want a response, your e-mail address:

    Nep, I, too, have a friend who ...



  • Back to top               Copyright 1995 - 2004